Mary Ellen Gleason Normoyle Eulogy
As I was thinking about how to write my Mom’s eulogy the song “Maria” from the Sound of Music was swirling through my mind. The words “How do you solve a problem like Maria? How do you take a cloud and pin it down?”, though the words in my mind were ““How do you describe a mom like Mary Ellen? How do you take a cloud and pin it down?” In a short eulogy it is difficult to describe mom’s life, to “pen it down” in a few words. Contrasting Mom with Maria’s characteristics is appropriate. She was like Maria in her love for music, her confidence, her trust in God, and her unusual way to make people smile and laugh. She was also like Maria in that she always had a plan to do something. She got the ball rolling, she was active and she did not settle for what did not seem right to her.
Scripture says that we are stones and that our works are as precious stones. Mom was a diamond. And as a diamond, the light of Christ shown through her in so many different ways that each of us have a testimony of the brilliance of Christ’s light through her. Thus I recognize that my testimony, this eulogy, is incomplete in itself, and I invite others to share their glimpses of her light also with us.
In 1Corinthians 13:13, the chapter on the characteristics of love, it ends with:
“And now faith, hope, love, these three remain; but the greatest of these is love.”
My brothers and I read this verse the morning of my mom’s death, the phrase “these three remain” stuck out as a symbol of mom’s legacy. It describes her well and the lasting memories we all have of her. Though Mary Ellen left her earthly body, her faith, her hope and her love still has a lasting impression on me and, I am sure, on many of you that will remain throughout our lives. I would like to provide a glimpse of how I knew her with respect to her faith, her hope and her love.
Anyone who knew Mary Ellen, through any time of her life, knew that she was a deeply religious woman. She was raised in the Catholic Church, went to Catholic schools, was married in a Catholic church, had six children (a Catholic characteristic in the ‘60s) and did her best to raise her children in the Catholic way of life. As her children grew older, going through their teenage and early adult lives in the ‘60s and ‘70s, you could say we “encouraged her” to dig even deeper into her faith. She worried about all of us. At times, this resulted in tensions that seemed unresolvable, though in the end it worked for good to build her faith. It motivated her to seek God in a deeper way. She went to church more often, she went to prayer meetings, she became involved in the charismatic movement in the Catholic Church, she became involved in the Cursio and Marriage Encounter retreats. As a result of her more intense seeking of God with all her heart, her faith became more of a personal relationship with God. She would refer to herself as born-again. She looked to Jesus for answers and guidance, which resulted in a new peace within her and confidence in the future for herself and for her family.
Her faith had given birth to a quiet hope. I saw her handling difficult situations with a new spirit, instead of being frustrated, disappointed, upset and controling, she would pray and state that God was in control. Her favorite verse became Rom 8:28:
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”
I saw a sweet change in her. She was learning to let go of her “worry” and to trust God more for the future of her children. Her act of faith and the change I saw in her, inspired me to realize that God is alive and also to be drawn closer to our Creator. Don’t get me wrong. She never let go of trying to influence her loved ones for the best. She would encourage us in our faith by giving us articles, books and by suggesting we attend different activities. As a youth, I would both hate having this invasion of my private life, but also be deeply challenged by it. She would not tell me what to do, but just ask me to consider reading something or ask me to pray about something. She hoped for the best. At times, I also heard the Holy Spirit knocking on my door in unity with Mom, and I humbled myself to read the material, attend meetings and honestly pray about the items on her heart. I am glad I did, since it led me in a direction of life that led me to a deeper relationship with God. All she desired of us was to seek God with all of our hearts. One of the most challenging requests she made of me was to pray about becoming a Catholic priest. I did not want to even entertain this in prayer. So, it took a little time to accept the challenge, but I finally did humble myself in prayer. I think you all know the answer I received.
Mom’s hope contributed to her very positive personality. This made her very attractive and likable by all that came into contact with her. I never remember her being discouraged or in despair for any lengthy period of time. People were always pleased and entertained to be around her.
For example, she taught typing at McLean High School where I went to school. When someone learned I was Mrs. Normoyle’s son, they would immediately say with enthusiasm that she was a great teacher. Then they would invariably hesitate for a moment, and add with a smile, that she was also very funny. Anyone who knows my mom knows she has a certain way about her that is just naturally funny - unlike anyone else. She didn’t try to be funny, she just was. When she realized how silly she acted she would also laugh at herself. She was in no way self-conscious or shy, though at times this embarrassed the children. For example, she would bravely initiate conversations with complete strangers who did not speak her language, or she would yell “yoo-hoo” and wave her arms in a busy public place to get a stranger’s attention. The children would shrink in their clothing to try to hide.
As you may know, Mary Ellen worked in Hollywood with directors, actors and film-writers for several years. It should be noted that this was well before the popular sit-com “I Love Lucy” came out. It would not surprise us if somehow her antics in Hollywood inspired a script writer. When I first watched the “I Love Lucy” show, I marveled at how the behavior of Lucy in many ways was similar to my mom. A common trait between Lucy and Mary Ellen was their drive and passion for life and to get things done the way they thought it should be done. I am sure we can all tell hilarious stories of her drive. I can still hear my Dad’s exclamation “For Pete’s sakes Mary Ellen…”. This unique characteristic of Mom remained with Mary Ellen to the end. Even here at St. Joseph’s Nursing Home the staff says there are many stories about her cute antics. For instance, it seemed like every time she was given her medicine, there was this routine she had to politely give it back to the nurse and tell them to drink it. When that did not work, she would then try to give it to those who were visiting. On one occasion, this “dance” with the medicine went back and forth several times, and then when the nurse left the room, she suggested to me that we water the plants with the medicine.
Mom’s love was reflected in many ways to all of us. Several characteristics of her love that come to mind are faithfulness, giving, serving, diligence, hospitality and patience. She expressed her love whenever someone came to her home in Ocean Pines or to see her here at St. Joseph’s. She would always greet them with great joy to see them. She also expressed her love in her diligence to serve people. She was diligent in her prayers for people, rising early every morning to say her devotions and to pray for her family and for others. In her retirement at Ocean Pines, she was faithful in serving the church and community. She played the organ at church, she helped the sisters at St Joseph’s bookstore in Ocean City, she visited the sick in hospitals, she visited nursing homes and she supported my Dad in his function as a deacon in the church, she marched for the lives of the unborn every year till she was nearly 80 years old.
Mom loved us in many ways that are too innumerable for me to recount. When I was a child and was first introduced to I Cor. 13, I personalized the characteristics of love to the personality of God, replacing the word “love” with God. He has perfected my Mom into His image, so it is also appropriate to substitute her name for the word love. Let me read this passage to you. As I read the word love, in your mind replace it with Mary Ellen.
“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous;
love does not brag and is not arrogant,
does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account
a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails;”
--1 Cor. 13: 4-8
The love that Mary Ellen showed us through her life had its roots in her desire to “Learn Christ’s Love” and to share her hope in Christ with others. She had this prayer on the inside of her bathroom mirror. It is a true reflection of the inward person of mom. It starts out with the phrase
“Teach me, my Lord to be sweet and gentle in all events of life…”
And it ends:
“May my life be lived in the supernatural, Full of power for good and strong in its purpose of sanctity”
(Complete prayer at the end of the eulogy.)
From my perspective, the Lord fulfilled this prayer. I am grateful to God that he chose me to be a child of Mary Ellen. Though she is absent in the body, what she left behind -- that which remains with us forever -- is her example of faith, hope and love.
I am finished with my perspective of my Mom and praise for her life. If there is something on your heart that you would like to share please contact us and give us your “glimpse” of her life.
Robert Normoyle
18415 Comus Rd
Dickerson, Md 20842
Learning Christ
Teach me, my Lord to be sweet and gentle
In all the events of life.
In disappointments,
In the thoughtlessness of others,
In the insincerity of those I trusted,
In the unfaithfulness of those
On whom I relied.
Let me put myself aside,
To think of the happiness of others,
To hide my little pains and heartaches,
So that I may be the only one to suffer from them.
Teach me to profit by the suffering
That comes across my path.
Let me so use it that it may mellow me,
Not harden nor embitter me;
That it may make me patient,
Not irritable,
That it may make me broad in my
Forgiveness, not narrow,
Haughty and overbearing.
May no one be less good for having come within
My influence. No one less pure, less true, less kind,
Less noble for having been a fellow-traveler in our
Journey toward eternal life.
As I go my rounds from one distraction to another,
Let me whisper from time to time, a word of love to
Thee. May my life be lived in the supernatural, full
Of power for good, and strong in its purpose of
Sanctity.
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